A Letter To My 45 Year Old Self

To my 45 year old self,

I hope this letter finds you in good spirit and health if not the best. What I have learned is that a lot can happen in days and I can’t even begin to imagine what will be the situation after 25 years. Just always remember to take a deep breath (inhale and exhale) and what seems to be crushing you from the inside and all of the worldly problems that seem too much will pass.

I am writing this letter in 2015, as you may remember that year was particularly hard for you. A lot of things happened that even the mere thought of them made you want to cry your heart out, but you made it. You got over those things, just remember even though not being able to go to your dream university after securing admission there was not your fault or your family’s (I know you think it’s your family’s fault but that is your anger talking) but it was rather the will of Allah. Remember the words of our Prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H), “What has reached you was never meant to miss you and what has missed you was never meant to reach you.” I have no idea what you will be doing in 25 years, but whatever it is, I hope you are making a difference; however minor that may be.

As Oscar Wilde once said, “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” I hope you always remember to live and you’ve at least completed half of the bucket list you made. I hope you’ve found happiness, and are surrounded by the right kind of people. People who don’t pass their negativity and darkness on to you, but rather than people who love and cherish you for what you are as an individual. And that library who have always dreamt of? I hope you have it by now. I hope people in the years to come still remember some of the greatest authors and poets that you grew up with and the world is a much brighter and peaceful place than it is in 2015.

On a closing note to you or myself, I would just say in the years that the people you’ve lost (despite the circumstances) it was for the better. If they died, their time in this world was over and there is nothing one can do against that, or if they left you of their own will, good riddance! You don’t need anyone who doesn’t appreciate you. One thing more I would like to add is I hope that at the mature age of 45, you’ve learnt to be proud and happy about yourself unlike me. Your opinion about yourself is the one that is important.

Wishing you well,
Mahnoor (2015).

I came across an advertisement in the local Urdu newspaper, about a letter writing competition by the Pakistan Post. I really liked the topic they had given which was “Write a letter to your 45 year old self” and would had loved to have taken part in it, but unfortunately there was an age limit and I was well past that age. So this is what may or may not have been my submission piece.